Awkward
by anonabella
Summary: Puberty is just a phase: a time when little boys leave childhood, and sometimes childhood friendships. He had always thought they'd be together forever. Lovino can feel himself and Antonio slowly drifting apart.


Awkward

Puberty is just a phase: a time when little boys leave childhood, and sometimes childhood friendships. He had always thought they'd be together forever. Lovino can feel himself and Antonio slowly drifting apart.

...

(Lovino's POV)

He was someone I used to know, someone I'd always talk to, someone I usually go home with back in our elementary days. He always know when I'm gone. He'd always find me when I'm lost. He'd always take my hand and lead the way home.

One day, he stopped holding my hand. I was shocked that suddenly, after a long time, he listened to my half-hearted complains whenever he wants us to hold hands. Though I didn't show that I'm missing his touch. It was my idea to refuse him in the first place... Though, I had always thought that he'd never listen.

One day, he no longer came to find me. Of all times that I had been running away from home, only to have him locate me in places I thought only I knew of, one day he didn't show up. I know I told him last time never to come for me again. I never knew he'd listened. I had said that many times before but he always came. That day, I had to return home alone and cold.

One day, he didn't realize that I was absent for a day. Before, whenever I get too sick and have to skip school, he would always rush to my house and tell me all about school that day, with me telling him that I'm not listening and he's being annoying. When one day he stopped showing up, I felt lonely and alone.

One day, he went home without me. He used to wait for me, but then he didn't. I don't know why that even if I told myself that it was much better to walk home quiet, my ears seem to be missing his ever cheery voice.

One day, we just stopped talking like we used to. It was always him who'd come to me and disturb me with his nonesense thoughts, but slowly, our conversations become shorter until it was gone. I was kind of prepared for this since I could feel how our talks had become strained and dull. But that didin't stop me from being a bit lonely when our talkings disappeared in time.

One day, I saw him around persons I don't know. I realized that he, too, had become somebody else that I have no knowledge of.

I thought... We would be friends forever.

...

(Antonio's POV)

One day, I bumped on Lovino. He looked at me as if he didn't know me. I know, it was long ago since we stopped talking with each other. I don't know but back them, I just don't know what to say to him anymore. I feel like he's getting bored of me, so I decided to stop trying. It's hard, but it would be more painful to hear from him that he doesn't want to associate with me already, that our childhood friendship is done.

Our gazes linger for a bit, and somehow, I could notice a hint of longing in his eyes, as if he wants me to say something. But my throat has suddenly run dry. We had passed by each other wordlessly before I could even find my voice. I knew that with that incident, we are truly finished.

"Toni," Gil called, trying to get my attention as we walk to the locker rooms. "That boy you were friends with, Lovino, right?"

"Yeah, so?" I asked him quite coldly.

"You two stopped walking home together. Is he taken or something?"

"No," I answered. That I am aware of. I know he flirts with girls all the time, but I know he isn't serious about them. About guys, on the other hand, well, I know he could hardly tolerate even me or his brother.

"Cool. Do you think I could try?" he proclaimed cheekily.

"I'd like to see you try," I told him as I went off. Suddenly, I feel so irritated.

...

(Lovino's POV)

"Uhm, Lovino?" asked a blonde girl with a cat-like grin. Her name is Bella.

"Yes?"

"You're friends with Antonio, right?" she asked apprehensively.

"Yeah, so?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Can you give me his mail address?" she asked cutely, though her being cute was the least of my worries at the moment. I felt a bit annoyed.

"I-I don't have it."

"Is that so? T-Then," she handed me a piece of paper. "Can you give this to him? It's my mail address... Can you ask him to message me?"

She was gone before I could refuse.

I looked at the paper in my hand. It was very pink and girly. I wonder, will Antonio find it cute?

Well, he could ask him now that he has an excuse to talk to him...

...

"Y-Yo."

"Lovi?" Antonio seemed shocked seeing the Italian apparently waiting for him. It has been ages since they walked home together.

"Uhmm... This," Lovino handed the paper to Antonio. "A girl in my class asked me to give it to you."

"What is that?" Antonio asked, though he clearly sounds uninterested.

"Her mail address, it seems."

"I don't want it," an with that, the Spaniard threw the paper away.

"B-But she a-asked me nicely to give it to you!"

"I don't care."

Antonio left Lovino alone in the cold.

...

Who is that guy? He used to be very cheerful and nice. Why did he suddenlu turned very distant?

I don't know him anymore.

...

"Lovino, right? Are you waiting for Toni?"

"N-No..." Lovino answered cautiously. This guy is one of Antonio's weird friends. "You are-?"

"I'm Gilbert. Are you going home? Mind if I walk with you?"

Walking with Gilbert is different from walking with Antonio. For one, the albino wasn't the humble type. Far from it. He was always calling himself awesome. Though, like the Spaniard, he seem to be okay with having an endless monologue without Lovino actually listening. He didn't find the walk enjoyable at all.

...

"You home, Lovi?" asked Feliciano, Lovino's younger brother.

"No shit," the elder Italian grumbled.

"I made way too many pasta again," the younger annouced, handing a tupperware to Lovino. "Can you give this to big brother Antonio? It's a thank you for the churros yesterday."

"Why should I? I don't want to."

"But, aren't you close with him, fratello?"

Used to. Not anymore.

However, Lovino still found himself bringing the pasta to the Spaniard.

...

"It's from Feli," Lovino answers the taller brunette's questioning look as he pushed the tupperware in his hands. "He says thanks for the churros yesterday."

"Ahh, okay."

"I'll be going then..."

Then it started to rain hard.

"Stay here first, Lovi. Wait until the rain to stop."

Gladly, Lovino thought to himself as the Spaniard served hot chocolate.

"Hey, Gilbert walked me home today," Lovino said nonchalantly. It's so awkward to just stay there quietly. The silence was deafening, he just had to break it.

"Really?" Antonio said dryly.

"He's weird," the Italian continued. "He's really different from you. I wonder how you hang with each other."

"He is weird, yes."

"And I think he's rubbed it on you," the shorter said quietly. "I mean... Why were you so mean a while ago?"

"..." Antonio did not answer.

"And I just don't seem to know you anymore..." Lovino pressed on. "We stopped talking to each other when I thought we'd always be friends. Or are we not friends anymore?" the Italian asked resentfully. Somehow, the feelings he has bottled up for a while leaves his mouth with a bitter taste.

"You're the mean one Lovino," Antonio said coldly. "You're just thinking about yourself. Think about me for a bit! I-"

Lovino frowned at him. The Spaniard looked away.

"I haven't seen you as a friend for a long time."

"H-How...? How would I know if you won't tell m-me?"

Lovino didn't know why he run away after hearing that.

Does that mean they can't be together anymore?

How... How long has Antonio felt this way for him?

Has he been hurting for a long time?

...

Lovino came down with a fever. What could you expect? Running in the rain like that. He skipped school the next day...

That afternoon, he had an unexpected visitor.

"I'm sorry for yesterday," Antonio said gravely. "I thought about Lovino's part and I realized that I had been selfish."

The Italian just gaped at the Spaniard. He was thinking otherwise. What the hell?

"If... If it troubles you, you can forget what I've said," the Spaniard said pleadingly. "It doesn't matter if we will just be friends... As long as we can be together."

"I-Idiot..." Lovino said shakily. "It doesn't work that way."

"W-What do you mean?"

"You think... That after you told me those words I... I could still look at you the same way as before?" the Italian questioned the Spaniard.

"I-I'm really sorry Lovi... I was just hoping that maybe... W-We could go back to the way we were before," he lamented. It was obvious that he was struggling to keep a straight face.

"No, we can't."

Antonio bit his lip. He was about to go. It has been useless to try to make ammends now.

"We can only just move forward..." the Italian murmured, looking down. "But... I also want to be together with Antonio."

...

He was someone I used to know. Slowly, he turned into someone I learned to love.

Fin.

Thanks for reading ^^


End file.
